Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Price of Prosperity

Reducing toxic nitrate levels takes time, says unelected Environment Canterbury water commissioner David Caygill. What's a little infant mortality when you have an economy to run?

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Having Fun with the Cracker Man

Don't blame the poor spooks - if a guy was going to stage the country's biggest ever fireworks display to celebrate his being granted NZ residency, he should have done it in Wellington where they could see it.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Grieving With Tony

Even rich folks like town clerks have employment grievances.
Although they don't actually work for us, they work for the people who work for us, so when they suffer grief, we pay.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Martyred By Munters

We've most of us learned a bit since those innocent few months between the quake of September 2010 and its deadly aftermath. Not the vapid former game show host though, who we were dumb enough to re-elect back then. 

It's a safe bet that there are people of influence in the National Party who'll continue to see political potential in Parker's 'recognition factor', or whatever it's termed, despite his almost daily displays of self-absorbed petulance. He may be dead meat in post-quake local government, but like John Banks you can bet he'll be extended some kind of political leg-up. As John Lennon once put it, every clown has a silver lifeboat.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Boss Sings the Boss

In a rare public performance Earthquake Commission supremo Ian Simpson swore on a stack of PDFs that, perceptions aside, his organisation was really and truly doing its best. Quake czar Roger Sutton was sufficiently moved to renounce stadiums and convention centres and dedicate himself to ministering to widows and asthmatics. Or something like that.

Lyrics: © Bruce Springsteen, My Best Was Never Good Enough

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Bling of Irrelevance

All wired up and nowhere to go.
"C'mon folks, send moi to Gansu, Wuhan, Kurashiki, Songpa-Gu, Seattle and, uh, Adelaide! Anywhere but the Eastern suburbs. . ."

Monday, June 25, 2012

Salesman of the Century


Remote-Control Rebuild

The City Council CEO demonstrates his commitment by commuting from Hamilton, and now the infrastructure rebuild guy reveals that he'll run the show from Auckland. Because while they're big hairy jewels of nature whose sensitive remuneration packages are no concern of the common munter, they have families. And working wives. 

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Quake Czar Sutton Snapshots


Once the feted hero who restored power to the quake-ravaged Eastern suburbs, these days Roger Sutton treats every unscripted contact with the public as a potential PR disaster.


Thursday, May 31, 2012

Crown Observer Kerry Delivers!

Shame on me for doubting! Unfazed by his master having "wandered into the other room" for a spell, Kerry tracked down a passable substitute and served him with the papers! Hang on, wasn't that Trevor Mallard? Anyway, Bob the comfortably irrelevant is now keen to adopt him. A happy tailwagging ending, for now.